Triangle Whole, Well & Good

                


Ann G. Kramer, EdS LPC                        

Counseling, Coaching, Creating Wholeness

1127 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary, NC 27511          (part of Long Life Wellness Center)                                                                                                                 919 518 3717

Wholeness is an ongoing, growing journey that supports you for a lifetime. The Life Puzzle is framework for creating a whole life and provides the foundation for working with Ann.  For an appointment, please call 919.518.3717

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The only security in Life is Insecurity–learn to love it!

Here’s a spot I did on WNCN’s Monday Motivational MomentScreen Shot 2014-09-26 at 11.14.06 AM

“The Only Security in Life is Insecurity–learn to love it!”  This may seem like an oxymoron, but in truth, when you live your life accepting that everything is always changing it is actually an easier way to live!  Then, when life does throw you a curve ball–it is not all that unexpected and you can respond with acceptance.

Unfortunately most of us spend our lives trying to figure out the exact opposite–how to get everything secure and safe all the time.  We expend an enormous amount of time and energy trying to get control over the world and keep it from upsetting our secure life.  But try as you might, the world just keeps on coming! What I’m suggesting is that you let go of trying to get everything perfect and instead, live life as it comes.  When you do, you’ll find you have more time to live life in the present moment and the capacity to handle what comes your way.  That’s what Life Puzzle making is all about!

 

Discipline or Punish…what helps a child learn best?

It has been a tough month for the NFL.  There’s the Ray Rice domestic violence case and now charges against Adrian Peterson for child abuse related to his hitting his four year old child with a switch to the point of leaving significant marks on the child.

All sorts of people have weighed in on this case–some in horror to what was done to this child and others with a shrug as they say “Well, I got hit when I was a kid and I turned out okay”.  This is forcing us to confront a huge reality–that we have used punishment as a regular method of child development for a very long time. Some insist it is a good and necessary tool in a parent’s tool kit and others insist it be removed forever.

But here’s the key issue–if we are going to help our children build healthy, whole and dynamic lives, are we going to use discipline or punishment as the way to do this.  To discipline means “to teach”. To punish means “to hurt”.  Framed in this way–it really asks parents to decide–are you teaching or hurting as your method of helping your child learn how to build their life?  It’s a choice that we all have to make. Continue reading

Reject or Embrace?

At a domestic violence conference, the crowd sat engrossed in the keynote speaker’s 30 year story of abuse. Not until she lay in the hospital with practically every bone in her body broken was she finally able to leave him. As she told her story, the disgust towards her ex-husband was palpable and when she called him the ‘scum of the earth’, heads nodded.

But then she ended her talk with saying that her greatest grief was that her daughter had grown up to also be a victim of a domestic violent relationship and her son had become a perpetrator. And it flashed in my head “Is he the scum of the earth too?”

As we moved into the q & a portion, I wrestled with that thought until I stood and simply had to ask her; “You mentioned your son had become a perpetrator and as you described your ex-husband as the scum of the earth, I wonder—do you think your son is the scum of the earth too? Or was he just unlucky enough to have been raised in a family dynamic where he was taught to manage his emotions through violence?” Continue reading

Healthy eating rewrites your life story

In a world where we often feel powerless, the efforts we make to eat healthy, good and nutritious food is a statement of power.  It isn’t easy to do this because  grocery shelves are filled with lots of processed foods, fast food restaurants are on every corner and our fast paced lifestyles can quickly undermine our best intentions of eating a healthy diet.

The second you decide to own this area of your Life Puzzle, you change your life story forever. 

Veggies!

What could be healthier than fresh veggies!

 

Continue reading

Having it all, but what is All?

I thought I had it all….

One of the things I noticed when I first began my practice was how many successful people were not really happy. 

j0356624Often they would say to me, “I have the house, the cars, the kids, and everything that goes with it, aren’t I supposed to be happy now?” Some had even gotten bigger houses and newer cars and a few more kids, but still they felt something was missing. Continue reading

All I want is for my children to be happy …..

Ran across this TedTalk by Jennifer Senior: For Parents, happiness is a very high bar.  Jennifer is a writer for New York Magazine and author of “All Joy and No Fun” which essentially discusses modern parenthood.  Her thesis is that parenting has now become burdensome due to the pressures of culture to ensure that our children have these incredibly happy childhoods.

I think she hit the nail on the head when she says that parents are genuinely Continue reading

Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Wholeness….

I know..you think I got the phrase wrong.  It’s supposed to be Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.  But with all due respect to our Founding Fathers—I’d like to change it.

Not that happiness isn’t a wonderful thing to work towards, but it isn’t sufficient for us in the 21st century.  Written in the 18th century, the pursuit of Happiness made sense because lives were very tough back then.  A little bit of happiness looked like a pretty good outcome for all the hard work of a life that had the liberty to pursue happiness. Continue reading

Wholeness or Happiness?

March 20th was International Day of Happiness.  And of course, it brought a smile to all our faces.  Who doesn’t want a happier world?

It concerns me though that the word “Happiness” is getting such prominence in our media.  “Happiness” infers a state of being–a place where you live in a positive world where life is all pleasant.  It reflects the oft heard childhood phrase “And they all lived happily-ever-after”. Continue reading

Can we build a 6-10 world?

One of the tools in Life Puzzle-making is called the Choosing Continuum. The 0-10 Continuum moves us from reactive to proactive.  0-5 is more reactive, 6-10 more proactive.

IE-Logo-adjusted.jpgj0341845On a personal level, Continue reading